Durable Integrity
What’s your definition of integrity?
Most think about integrity in the moral sense. “Doing the right thing when no one’s watching.”
In construction, we talk about structural integrity. We know that everything we use in construction has its limits. Given the right circumstances, everything fails.
Men, women, materials, and machines — all things fail.
Integrity in construction means I can rely on you, either individually or in congress, to behave a certain way and in certain circumstances, but only to a limit.
Beyond your limits, you’re no longer predictable, and all calamity ensues.
When things fail.
But let’s make it personal. Say someone you trust fails unexpectedly.
Someone does the wrong thing.
Is their integrity forever destroyed? Are they never to be relied on again?
After a failure, how long should we mistrust them?
Unreliable forevermore?
Sometimes, depending on the depth of your relationship, trust can be rebuilt.
But I would argue that reconstructed trust is never complete.
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
— Maya Angelou
I’ve failed miserably in my life — deeply betrayed people who loved and trusted me. Abandoned people when they needed me most.
I’ve worked hard to rebuild their trust in me since then. But I openly acknowledge that trust may never be complete — forever tarnished by the destruction I caused.
I own that reality and fully accept it.
What’s hard now is when people fail me.
When people show me who they really are, I can’t afford to stick around to see if they redeem themselves.
My past failures prohibit it. Sorry.
My past prohibits me from associating with you because your failure — like it or not — rubs off on me by association.
I don’t want my integrity judged forevermore based on my worst mistake.
But for right now, I have to judge your integrity forevermore based on yours.